Headed to Nicaragua

I'm 5 days away from heading to Nicaragua and 6 days from seeing my beautiful girls.

I am taking so much stuff that I don't have enough room for everything and it's quite discouraging. I so wish I had my own plane. I would not have this problem any more.

Please pray for Terry and I as we leave our children home again. Although they will be well taken care of there are still many things to consider when Mom and Dad are gone.

Pray for our team members that are going. Bonnie & Thomas, Chris and Lauren, and Jennifer are all coming with us. All three of these families are praying about adopting from Nicaragua as well and are leaving family behind.

Pray for our safety, health, unity and most important for the people we will touch while we are there.

I am taking baseball uniforms and equipment for one team and soccer equipment for another. This is going to rock their world. Pray it raises their faith to a whole new level.

Pray for additional finances that are needed to accomplish this task. I had to purchase new baseball pants for the team that was unexpected and going to my aunts and to her funeral cost me almost $300 in gas that was not planned for so money is very tight for this trip.

I am trusting God to supply all my needs. Pray that people who understand the needs of missions will rise up and help as God leads them to.

I have also ran out of room in my bags. I will have to leave toys or hygiene products home. Its hard for me to make that decision. One is needed and the other is desired. An extra bag is another $100 that I just don't have to spare right now so pray that God will send that money as well if they are to go.

We will be at the orphanage a lot this trip but on Monday and Tuesday morning we will be ministering in two villages that have never had a team of Americans visit them. Pray our showing of love will open doors to share God's love with them and lead them to a personal relationship with him.

Thanks for your support and your prayers.

Angie

Forgive & Forget?

I traveled home to my aunts funeral Thursday thinking the entire time, "What will it be like seeing my mom?" Will she act different than the last time? Will I act different than before?

Well we both did actually. When I arrived she wasn't there but shortly after I saw her outside. I could have just stayed inside and avoided her but I figured I might as well get it over with. Out the door I went and the first person I saw was my brother. Since we is the biggest reason my mom and I don't get along I figured I would fight fire with love and hug him first. I went over and hugged my mom as if everything was just fine. Let me remind you the last time I saw or spoke to her she was yelling at me telling me what a horrible daughter I was. Needless to say there was some reservations about that hug.

My aunt looked so beautiful. She would be so happy about the outfit her daughters picked out. She made us all feel like she was at peace. Those of us that had been around her were all smiling and bragging on her looks as those who had not come when she needed them most just cried. Don't wait until someone is dead to show them your love, DO IT NOW. Trust me..

If the death of my aunt was to show my mom that life is too short I am glad God took her but more importantly I hope it showed my entire family that those of us who have Jesus smiled at Dorothy as she lay in her coffin, we didn't cry with regret, we cried with joy knowing she was in the presence of the Lord.

The gospel was shared twice so I know my family knows how to get to heaven. Obeying the instructions is another story.

What did I learn through all this? That in the worse of times God can make Good come out it.

Please let me speak to those of you that I know personally are struggling with family members. Life is way to short. We are not promised tomorrow. Those we love that don't love us are still God's children. We must find the Love of Christ for them. Regardless to what they have done to us they are His children and He loves them unconditionally.

Don't get me wrong, I am not ready to start a relationship with my mom. The pain is still there from all that has happen. My mother can't have a healthy relationship with me but I can have a Love of Christ relationship with her.

I encourage you to do the same.. If you can't talk to that family member, send them a card, a note, a picture of your kids. Something to say, "Hey I thought of you today". Then let God do the rest.

Please continue to pray that I can Forgive my mom and Forget the pain.

Angie

Update on my world

I'm been quite lately because I have been out of town.

I went to Virginia on Saturday to see my aunt and I returned today at 4:30. Sadly, she passed away at 6:30.

I learned a great deal about my aunt this week. After spending 23 hours a day with her for 3 days you get to know somebody. (Only got an hour a day of sleep, didn't want to waist my time when I knew she had very little left.)

I saw a side of her family I had not seen before. She has 3 daughters and 1 very spoiled son. All of them had come to peace that it was her time to go. All of them assured me in some way she would be going to heaven. That's all that mattered to me. Seeing her was important but making sure the she and her family knew Jesus on a personal basis was my priority.

I will be returning home on Thursday and I am sure I will see my mother. Let's pray it’s a much better time than the last.

I called her today to make sure she had gotten the news; it was almost creepy for me. She keeps talking to me as if everything was just fine between us. Family members tell me to let the past stay in the past and move on as if it never happen. BUT it did happen. What do you think? Just let it stay or deal with it? I haven't decided yet. The easy way of course is to just let it go but what happens when it comes back one day?

On a better note, I have not heard much about Isamar except that the dad had a discussion with Mi Familia and told them he DID NOT want Isamar. He was only pursuing this because his mother (she's 85 we believe) wants him to. The lawyers told us today that if she wants her she will have to come forward and say so. Let's hope she doesn't.

I hope to find out more tomorrow as this week the Director of Mi Familia quit and 3 people on the council walked away. I can't imagine how much delay this will now cause.

I am leaving next Thursday to go and see my girls. At least I know Isamar will be there this time.

Continue to pray for us. My entire family as we lay Dorothy to rest, my immediate family as we wait patiently on the Lord and for our trip to Nicaragua next week. We will be ministering to many families who have it a lot worse than we do.

God Bless,

Angie

Prayers for My Aunt

My mother and I have not talked but once in 3 years. Needless to say when I saw the caller id today and it was from her my heart just sunk. So many horrible thoughts went through my head. Was she sick? Had she died? Was it my brother? It's really sad that it takes tragedy in ones family to get people talking again.

My mom's sister has taken ill. Her name is Dorothy and she is the first person in my life that I can say believed in me. Her children and I are very close. Actually out of 29 grandchildren and 30 great grandchildren of my grandmother, Aunt Dorothy's kids are the only ones I stay in contact with.

My mom did not call me when my uncle got sick last November so this time she thought she should call. She knows how important Aunt Dorothy is to me, she says. Her anger must be starting to fade away or she would have never called me today.

Over the past three years my mom has been very mad at me for something I didn't even do. She has been ugly to me more than once and during my uncles’ funeral in November she would not even let me stay at her house.

It’s been very hard going through this adoption without parents. My mom just can’t be a Mom and my Dad does not exist in my life. I think this helps me understand how Carmen and Isamar feel.

I haven't talked to my mom over the 3 years instead I just sent her pictures, cards, a Mother's Day gift and each time reminded her that I was praying for her and I loved her. It appears it has softened the blow. She talked to me today as if we talked just yesterday. Things are not fixed with us but this is a huge start. The fact that she actually called is AMAZING.

My aunt is 78 years old and is on her death bed. She is in great pain and Hospice is there so you know what that means. As far as I know she has accepted Christ but she has never been to church. She has missed the joy of fellowshipping with others and being in His presence of one accord but soon she will be in the God’s presence. Isn't that thought wonderful?

Please pray for our family as Aunt Dorothy is a pillar to the rest of us. She has held our family together for many years. It was just 5 years ago that she buried her husband. I am sure her children would appreciate your prayers for God to move quickly so she will suffer no more.

Additionally, we have no updates on Isamar at this time. Keep praying that God will intervene if it is His plan for her life to be with us.

God Bless,

Angie

The Results are Finally Here

It's with great sadness that I report that the DNA test is Positive.

I can't put words into how I feel right now.

I have said all along that I want the best for Isamar and I really do but it still hurts, it still feels like someone stuck a knife through my heart. Pray for Terry and I as we wait to hear what will happens now.

The dad will go through a home study to determine if he meets the requirements. Basically, if he has a house at all, a job at all and is walking and talking he will qualify. Poverty does not play a role in this decision and the best situation for Isamar doesn't count either.

I know that God loves Isamar more than I do and He wants the best for her. He sees the big picture and knows all. No matter how my heart feels and what my head tells me I am trusting in Him.

If Isamar is to be in my home she will be. Nothing will stop that.

Please pray for Isamar and Carmen. They plan on telling her soon and I know they will be devastated. Breaking them apart will be very difficult for both the girls. They will need a lot of love and counseling. Most important they will need our prayers.

I was reminded tonight as my heart broke into a thousand pieces that the pain I felt, as bad as it was, was nothing compared to the pain God must have had when He gave His son to die for us.

Jesus died so that we would have life. Everlasting Life. A future, Hope, Dreams, Desires, A family, A never ending love. He died for Isamar's future also. I must trust in that.

There are no words to describe how I feel tonight, so I rest in Gods word that My Joy comes to me in the Morning.

Thanks for all your prayers. The battle is not over. Don't stop praying, pray harder.

God Bless,

Angie