Getting Ready to Go...

Time is flying by...I am one week away from leaving. How does one pack for an undetermined amount of time? You know us women.. I'll probably pack everything but the kitchen sink..

I was so blessed this weekend when speaking at Zion's Hills Baptist Church in Bluefield. They were a wonderful group of people I can now call family. They took up a collection of games for the orphanage and now I have enough to bless them abundantly and be able to bless a school or two. Thanks so much guys/gals..

That evening I was also able to speak at a church in Terry's home town and was blessed also by the church and their members. God just showed up and showed off this weekend in my life....

I am still in need of Rated G or Rated PG DVD's.  I need them to be in Spanish so take a look on the back of them and it will tell you if they come in English and Spanish. No Spanish Subtitles please because the kids can't read that fast.

I need them by Friday or Saturday at the latest if possible. Please let me know if you have any I could bless them with.

They have mostly girls at the orphanage but there are several teen boys. So if you have something that would interest boys I would love to have them also.

Please continue to pray as I prepare to leave my family. It is a bittersweet moment for us. I trust God to work out all the details and know that I am doing the Will of the Father..

Continue to pray for our support. So far there has been none. I know this is a busy time for people and money is tight but God has a plan and His plan is the best of them all. I trust in it completely.

Blessings to all of you..

Angie

Just a reminder:

Any donations for the adoption need to go to (put my name on the subject line:

Harvest Church 7429 Tuckaseegee Rd. Charlotte, NC  28214

Any ministry support can come to me:

The Power of One Ministry 198 Mellwood Drive Charlotte, NC 28214

Never Ending Journey Part 3

It's been funny getting messages from you guys about me leaving you hanging. I can count on one hand the number of replies I have got in the last 7 years but not any more.. :) It's kind of been funny which has helped me deal with my stress. So I left you with the facts that now the DSS has denied us the right to adopt Karen who we have known for soon to be 8 years just because she is confused and afraid. I'd be confused and afraid too if I had some woman telling me I had to fly on a plane and learn English and never see my friends again I have never been out of a rural area before in my life, yes I would be scared to.

I have had many people question me on if this is not God closing the door then what is. Good question but when you are truly called to do something you know when God is closing the door and trust me, HE is Not closing this door yet. Will He, maybe, will He open more doors and get us past the next step, maybe. For now all I know is what he has shown me and Terry.  For example;

On the third day after we got the news (and remember I was a mess during those three days, wishing I had never heard of Nicaragua) I was just finally starting to come around. I knew in my heart something didn't seem right and once I got a hold of myself I started thinking a little more clearer. God used a great friend of mine to help me. Thanks Mary Green for being there for me that day. It was even her birthday but instead of me giving her a present she gave me one.

I was in Mooresville delivery pictures and decided to call Mary. I honestly had forgot it was her birthday because I was too consumed by my own issues. I told Mary that I was just not sure that God had closed this door and that I truly only wanted His will for Karen's life, even if that meant we would not get her and I didn't want to do anything that would change that path. I remember telling her that I didn't want to stick my foot in this door God is closing and pry it open for the sake of my own desires. I truly only want what God wants.

I went on to tell her that in December 2010 a friend of mine introduced me to an official of the government who just so happens to be the best friend of the highest ranking official at the DSS. She is called the Minister. After hearing that DSS had done nothing this friend, Mauricio, had told us he would put in a good word for us with the Minister to see if we could get some progress. Since December we had not spoken to him about his connection but I was thinking maybe this was the right time to use that contact.

At the very moment that I was pouring my heart out to Mary about this connection she was working on a bible study for her children's church class and had stopped typing at a very specific point. She was teaching on Ester. Let me remind you of this story. You see Ester was put in a specific place for a specific reason. It was always God's plan for her to have favor with the King. In Ester 4:14 Mordecai tells Ester that her favor she had with the King was for such a time as this. FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS.

Needless to say at that very moment I knew God was speaking to me through Mary. She was typing those exact words at the same time I said to her maybe this is the time I need to use this connection God has given me.  We both became very emotional and knew that God was speaking to us. I prayed all the way home asking God to show me what to do with this connection and I am still praying today. God told me that night that I can't pry open a door He has closed. Rev. 3: 7-9. If the door is shut then I can't open it so why not try. I can't fail.

There were so many little doors that opened for us that it just did not see normal that God would lead us along like a animal after a piece of meat only to shut the door in my face. I could be totally wrong on this but if I am so is my husband because Terry feels the same way. He loves Karen and has always felt a strong bond with her. God does not put that kind of love in your heart just because he can. He puts it there because of a purpose.

What now you are asking? Where do we go from here? Well after much prayer and many more little connections like the one with Mary we have decided to fight. We are going to appeal this answer and fight for Karen with all our might even if that means God says no down the road. One day when she is an adult I want to say to her that I did absolutely every thing within my power and my connections and that I felt God told me to do only because I love her with all my heart.

We have just completed our home study for the 3rd time over the course of the 4 years and we are waiting on it to be given to us. Once we get it we will send it to Homeland Security asking for an appointment to get our fingerprints done. As soon as they are done I will be free to leave the country and go and appeal this process. We are estimating mid to late June.

How will the appeal work? Not sure, doubt that anyone has ever done it. Not many Americans fight. Most just accept their answer and give up. I can't. I can't give up on this child of God until God tells me to give up. Terry is in complete agreement with this and will have to live without me for a very long time.

Once I leave I will first have to convince them to give me a chance to stay with her and show her our love for her and show her that it will be ok to leave her country and that Ubana won't die if she does. She could still say no and if that happens I think at least I will have closer in my heart.  I will know I did everything. That's a big maybe. It will take me going to the Minister and fighting for this chance. We are asking them to allow us to have her for at least 30 days and then ask her again if she wants to live with us or not. As of today in all the 8 years I have not spent more than 8 straight hours with her. How can she make a life changing decision without having some time with us?

If we are given that chance we hope to show her how much she is loved and how great it would be to live with us here in the US. If she agrees I will then have to live in Nicaragua for another 3 months. All together I could be stuck in Nicaragua for up to 4 to 5 months.

That is extremely hard to accept. To leave my kids for that long and to leave Terry is excruciating in my mind but I know that if this is God's plan for our life that He will make the time go quickly or even shorten it. He is in control not the DSS folks.

What happens if Karen says no, I am sure you are thinking that. I am expecting God to give us that closer in our heart and to know that its ok. He will give us the peace that we will need to get through it. Maybe doing this will force them to change the rules and change how they do things for other people who are put in this position in the future. Who knows...

So the Never Ending Journey is truly just beginning. I will need your help like no other.

This will be a costly endeavor. Living full time in Nicaragua during the time of our lives that we have no income until late August or early September. Even knowing this we know that God will supply. We know that He loves Karen more than we do and if this is His will or even if it is not He will honor our willingness to fight for his orphan and meet our needs.

What can you do? You can pray and pray consistently.

Once I have the fingerprints appointment I will know when I am leaving and then the test begins. I will want to give up many times and I will want to run home to Terry and stop trying. I will have it hard this I know but I am a strong girl as most of you know already and I am a very determined woman who walks by faith and not by sight. My flesh may get weak but you will be there praying for me so my spirit will be strong. That's what I need from each of you readying this.

Will you walk this journey with me? Will you agree to pray for me faithfully and stand in the gap for me when I am weak, IF I GET WEAK? I believe God has called us to do this. I believe the greatest commandment is to Love and what greater love can I show than to help one of His orphans. Knowing that His word promises me that I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me I rest in knowing He is in control and He will guide us down this path He has called us to walk.

So for now we wait, we wait on the appointment and we pray that it comes at the perfect time it needs to and that once I am in Nicaragua the doors open for me to meet with the Minister. I have already decided that if the Minister turns me down that I will go and see the First Lady of Nicaragua. I have also been given two people who know her well and can possibility get me an appointment with her. That's as high as I can go and we already know she hates Christians and she hates Americans so maybe she will be the reason I am fighting. Winning her to Christ by showing her my love for Karen could be the very way. Only God knows, right.

Start praying for us now, I'll update you again when I know more but for now we just wait and believe God together.

Thanks for being apart of our Journey. It's comforting to know there are people praying on my behalf.

God Bless and I look forward to updating you soon.

Angie

Never Ending Journey Part 2

Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever reads what I write. Yesterday I got a couple of responses fussing at me that I left everyone hanging.. Sorry but this is a very long story and I didn't want to take up your entire Memorial Day.. :) So I left you in the last email at the point of adopting the two girls. 2008 was a year of craziness. We had to go to Nicaragua 5 times that year because of the adoption process. 3 days before we were to be voted on by the counsel a man shows up at the DSS place (Mi Familia is it's name) and declares he is the father of the youngest girl. Father? How can he be the father when we have already been told the mother and father of the girls are on the run from the police because the dad molested the oldest daughter. Who is this man? How did he find out we were going to adopt? It was a nightmare. A roller coaster ride that I wanted off of immediately.

To make a long story shorter the man was in fact Isamar's dad. He is also the cousin of her sister Carmen. Apparently this man had an affair with their mother. His mother and the mother of Carmen's dad are sisters. Yea I know it's hard to keep up with. After a DNA test was done (which took a month to get the results back) he was declared Isamar's dad. He had known she was in the orphanage the entire time. How could you leave a child there for 5 years. He had no contact with her the entire time and now wanted to be dad yet we had known her and been the only parents to her for the past 3 years. It was a very stressful time.

Well on December 6th, Isamar's 10th birthday I got a call that almost broke my heart. The orphanage had closed and both my girls had been given to the dad. He was given a choice to take both of them or neither of them. In one day I lost all the girls I loved dearly and my two daughters. Needless to say it was a devastating day. Funny how God works. I had planned on being in Nicaragua on that very day but God closed the door and the trip got canceled. I guess God knew the pain would be too much for all of us.

So what now? I just could not understand how we had spend so much time, money, effort, prayers, every minute of my life for a year and a half and for what.

Terry and I prayed and prayed about what to do and we both did not feel it was over. We went back to Nicaragua in February and through lots of prayers felt led to ask for the third girl Karen. I could not believe I was about to go down this road again but I knew God had called us to do this so we both took another step of faith.

We asked to adopt Karen in February 2009. She had been moved to a foster home and it took me two months to find her.  We had been told so many lies in the past about the other two girls that we were not sure she was one that could be adopted out. We ask for an investigation of her and was promised they would. Months went by and nothing. December 09 came and I was there on a trip so I went to ask what the status was and again was told they will look into it. 11 months had already passed and nothing..

January comes, February, March, and so on and still nothing. We had decided that God must have other plans for us and my heart started to believe that this was over. Out of know where in August I got an email from the DSS that stated they needed to talk to me ASAP. I called my lawyer right away (who I had not talked to in a year already) and had her go there and talk to them. They informed her that they had approved us to adopt which was a huge step. Why? Why now and does this mean we can have Karen? No, that's not at all what that meant. That just meant that we had been approved by the government. That is a big step but doesn't get me to Karen, however, they also stated they had investigated her and did not like her living arrangements.

I am leaving out a lot of information to help you not have to read a book but in February when we found Karen we found out that the director of the orphanage had lied to the DSS and convinced them to place her in a "Specific" foster home. This home belonged to a woman named Ana. Who is Ana? Well when Karen was months old her mom abandoned her and a woman found her. Her name was Ubana. Ubana and Ana are best friends. Karen was taken from Ubana by the DSS when she was 4 and placed in the orphanage because Ubana was a drunk. She had applied to adopt Karen several times and DSS had denied her so she scammed up a way to get Karen close to her by lying and saying Ana was Karen's blood aunt. Yes I know this is one drama story.

So now it's December and we have heard nothing since August. They promised they would continue this investigation and nothing had happen. I went to see the Director of the DSS in December and complained that nothing had happen since Feb. 2009 and she agreed to go and see Karen the following week.

This is where the journey get's nuts.

In January the DSS folks informed us they had done an investigation on Karen, proved that Ana is not her family and declared she needs to be declared abandon.  All this took until February to get done but PRAISE GOD we are making progress. February came and passed, March came and still no word on what they were going to do.

I went to Nic in March and declared I was not leaving that country until I had some update on what was happening. An appointment with my lawyer and the director was made for March 25th. Finally I would get some answers.

That meeting was great. The Director told us everything about the case and what was going on and that they were declaring her abandon and even agreed that I needed to update my paperwork and be back in Nicaragua by June to foster her for 3 months and take her home. Finally, we would have out little girl who was now turning 12. (I met her when she was 4).  I remember I was speechless, all I could do was cry. The Director informed me that their policy was they must talk with Karen again and make sure that she can handle going before the judge. They are very tough with kids to make sure they really want to be adopted. No problem, she will be fine. She has told us over and over she wants to be adopted and we are her mom and dad. I left with a Maybe and not a Yes because I didn't want my heart to explode if something changed.

Smartest decision I have ever made.

One week later the Director and a doctor went to visit Karen in her school. No pressure, no audience, just her and the officials. During this conversation (which we were told very little about) Karen was asked if she wanted to move to the US and be adopted by us. The Director told my lawyer that in great confidence Karen stated that she loves us very much but that she loves Ubana also and doesn't want to leave Nicaragua. Karen is 11 years old. She had no idea that she was changing her future forever.

That week we were there in March I met Ubana. Her first words to me was Karen is mine. I need her. I need her to bring me water when I am thirsty, to wash my clothes, to rub my foot when it hurts. She is mine.

I told her I love Karen and I want her because she deserves a wonderful family and it is up to DSS to decide her future, not her.

Since that moment Karen has not been the same. Karen told us that she was told that if she leaves Nicaragua Ubana will die. She also told us that Ubana is sick and it would be wrong to leave her while she is sick. Tell me those are the words of an 11 year old girl. We know she is being manipulated into believing Ubana will die. So sad.. So sad that they want to make her a maid. Ana and her husband were asked if they wanted to adopt her and they both told DSS that they did. When ask why, they responded because we want to help Ubana. Not once did they say it was because they loved her.

So a week later we were told that they changed their minds and our adoption was over. Just like that... 4 years after we started and 3 girls later we are done.

I remember asking God, do you  enjoy breaking my heart.. Did I really miss you this much.. How could we have this desire so much and be so wrong?  It was a ruff 3 days once I heard this news. I questioned over and over again if I have ever heard from God or have I been making up my life for 45 years..

Needless to say we just didn't know what to think so I fasted for several days and prayed and prayed and prayed and asked God to clearly show us what was the meaning of this and much to our surprise we have consistently been told that this is not God's NO this is man's no and we need to fight until God says NO.

Fight how? do what? go where? there are so many questions I have had for God.

His answers to us in Part 3 of this Never Ending Journey.

Stay tuned for the next part.

Angie

Never Ending Journey

In 2004 I took my first mission trip to Nicaragua. During this trip I had the privilege of visiting an orphanage called the House of Rose. This home had 15 little girls who just melted my heart. Many trips went by and I still got to visit the House of Rose and the more I went the more they remembered me. Over the years several of the girls left the home and others came. It was so a blessing to be connected to these girls considering I have been praying for a girl since Terry and I got married.

In 1992 when my oldest son was just a little over a year old (he's turning 21 this year..) Terry and I were wrapping Christmas gifts one night and saw a show on the homeless children in Russia. The show was about how they sniffed glue to keep from feeling hungry. It broke my heart and reminded me of my childhood. I didn't sniff glue but I went to bed many nights with no food. Needless to say this touched my heart to the core and I remember that very moment telling Terry that one day I would like to adopt a child and give them a better life, one much better than what I had. Surprisingly he agreed that would be something he would like to do also.

Several years later after we had lost a child and had been blessed with our Logan we started praying about adopting and even went through Gaston County's program to foster and adopt.  That process was not one I care for and I was left feeling empty.

Years passed and nothing happened with adoption but the desire was still there. Even after we had Jacob. I love all my boys and would not change them for anything but deep down wanted to have a little girl.

2004 finally came and here I found myself in a home for girls, beautiful ones, sweet ones, troubled ones, girls who had never been loved, who had been abused and neglected. Of course one would think here is my opportunity to adopt but oddly not once did I think about it. Not once did God show me or Terry that we had finally found our little girl.

Years passed by and still nothing. The desire was still there but was no longer the focus of my thoughts. By now I had a huge connection to several of the girls. A bond that was deeper than I would ever imagine.

I will never forget the day in July 07 when I knew in my heart that it was time to take a leap of faith and adopt from the House of Rose. I was on a trip with a team and Terry was home. He had never been on one of my trips yet and had never even met these kids. How was I going to convince him? I went home that trip dieing to tell him what I felt but knew that if this was of God then God would have to show him, not me.

I arrived home from the trip late that night and every muscle in my body wanted to tell Terry what I felt God had showed me but I remembered on the plane praying and asking God for a "burning bush". I told God if this is really what He wants us to do then He would have to tell Terry before I got home so needless to say I was dieing on the inside with anxiety of "did God tell him"? . I remember going to bed that night thinking God is this really you? Are you really telling us to adopt? Terry hasn't even met any of the kids?

The next morning came and the kids were out of school so everyone slept in since it was after midnight when I got home. I woke up first and starting praying that Terry would hurry and wake up. I just knew I could not hold it in much longer. He finally rolled over and we began to chat. I remember asking him if God has told him anything and he looked at me like I crazy. I remember asking him do you remember years ago us talking about something we wanted to do one day and out of his mouth came "To Adopt?" I then gave him the third degree, "why did you say adopt, you could have said anything, why did you say adopt". He then explained he had been thinking and praying about the girls I kept talking about and thought this could be the reason God sent me to Nicaragua. I had asked for a burning bush the night before and that very moment my hand was burning like fire, literally. I knew and Terry knew that this was the beginning of something great and God had clearly told us both what we needed to do. I agreed with Terry we would pray long and hard about it and not jump into anything but deep down I knew we were suppose to move forward.

I went back to Nicaragua just a month later and while I was there on a specific project I started investigating three of the kids that I had grown so close to. Carmen, Isamar and Karen. The director of the orphanage gave us the information I asked for and I started praying about those girls. Carmen and Isamar were sisters and Karen was their best friend.

If you have been on my distribution list for a long time you know how the rest of the story goes. For all those who are new to my blog you will have to hear the rest of the story on the next post. This is a very long long story with an ending that most of you will not even believe.

The Journey Continues..

I'll post the ending later, don't want to make you read a book today.

Angie

10 Gallons of Ice Cream

During our trip in March we had the privilege of hanging out with my friends in Ceibita. I love blessing them with things I know they don't ever get and we here in the US take for granted. This trip it was Ice Cream. Thanks to two generous donors who blessed me with extra cash I didn't expect to get we were able to feed over 175 people that day.

Why serve ice cream and play games you might ask?

Since I am not a pastor, preacher or teacher I find ways to share God's love and His Word through ways I can relate to. Having Fun.. It brings smiles to everyone, breaks down walls and opens doors for me to just chat with them.

On this day we brought them "Minute It To Win It" games and had grown men acting like children, young adult men and woman shaking their booty and kids laughing their heads off while they were doing it. I love hearing their laughter, I love seeing them enjoy a stress free day. What better way to show them Jesus than to show them Peace, Love, and Joy.

After we played games with them my team member Leigh Pack and Gwen Trull performed a skit. You have to see the pictures to believe it. You will only see Leigh in the photos because Gwen is behind her. Leigh's arms are Gwen's arms. It was hilarious. It really got everyone's attention and gave me a chance to share with them the importance of Forgiveness.  We also shared little things with them during each game we played. Just a small illustration to push the points we wanted to get across. Meeting them on their level is much better than standing in a pulpit preaching to them. Wasn't that how Jesus did it?

At the end of the day we blessed them with ice cream and got to see great smiles and excitement from the kids. I have grown to love them so much. I miss them tremendously, even as I write this tears fill my eyes and my heart breaks to see them soon. It's so amazing how building that relationship with them over the past two years has brought us so close. Over 65 people in this community has accepted the Lord so far. It's great to see the fruit of the labor.

In the photos you will also see two very small houses. I hope one day soon to build a new home for the first family. I can build a 250 square foot home for around $800. That may not sound like a large home but they are living in a house that is about 50 sq. ft now. Most of our bathrooms are bigger than that .

Please continue to pray as always that I will find ways to raise money and doors will open.

If any of you have a womens group, or a Home Group, Sunday School class or any type of group that is looking for a great project please keep this ministry in mind.

I am asking everyone I know to start a "Nickel's For Nicaragua" collection jar. Just take an empty milk jug and collect loose change. In a couple of months it will be filled and you will not miss those coins at all.

Your "CHANGE" can "CHANGE" the life of a family in Nicaragua. Will you help me? Will you start a collection jar and be a part of what God is doing in Nicaragua?

If you decide to start one  just let me know when your jar is full and I'll come and get it.. :)

God Bless,

Angie

Check out the Photos HERE